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Peter Alliss compares Tiger Woods to Pavarotti

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- British player-turned-broadcaster Peter Alliss is among those who believe Tiger Woods is getting too much instruction.

At a news conference before his induction into the World Golf Hall of Fame, Alliss said Woods' "golfing brain for some reason or another is completely addled." What astonished him was a scene from the practice range at the Masters last year. Alliss said he was sitting with Arnold Palmer at the end of the range.

"And there 50 yards away is Tiger Woods at the green nearest the television facility being shown how to chip," Alliss said. "`You must do it this way, this way.' And I said to Arnold, `Are we seeing ...?' He was the greatest chipper in the world for a period, and this guy is teaching, `No, don't do it that way.'

"It's like Pavarotti saying, `I'm fed up with being a tenor. I think I'm going to sing as a baritone.' Land sake," he said. "That's as stupid as that, in my opinion. That's not a criticism, that's an opinion. But that's why he's fuddled and befuddled. ... But he's gone. He's gone at the moment."

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1. Unsolicited Swing Advice Guy

Defining characteristics: Knows exactly how to fix your swing even though you didn't ask. Employs a vast array of swing jargon that only confuses you further. Favorite expression: "Wait, try this!"

2. The Human Rain Delay

Defining characteristics: Thinks he is honoring spirit of the game by never picking up. Not in the spirit of the game: dragging his foursome through a three-and-a-half hour front nine. Favorite expression: "Put me down for a 10."

3. Cell Phone Guy

Defining characteristics: Considers golf course an extension of his office, home, therapist's couch, etc. Has perfected the balancing-phone-on-the-shoulder wedge shot. Favorite expression: "You guys hit. I gotta take this."

4. The Cart Girl Schmoozer

Defining characteristics: Convinced he's got a shot with the cart girl. Would be crushed to learn she offered the same flirty laugh and bag of nuts to foursome of geeks up ahead. Favorite expression: "We'll take four beers and one more smile, darlin'."

5. The Parking Lot Pro

Defining characteristics: Color-coordinated outfit, matching logos and oversized tour bag suggest he's played professionally. Topped drive off the first tee suggests otherwise. Favorite expression: "These are the same shoes Tiger wears. "

6. The Air Counter

Defining characteristics: Can't remember his score without reliving every shot in detail. Favorite expression: "One in the pond, two drop, three back in the pond. Four I had that funky lie in the bunker and left it in the bunker ... "

7. The Frat Boy

Defining characteristics: Unable to fathom a round of golf without a steady stream of adult beverages. Idea of restraint is to hold off drinking ... until the second hole. Favorite expression: "A few beers will loosen up that swing!"

8. Cigar Guy

Defining characteristics: The easiest golfer to locate on the course thanks to waft of smoke trailing behind him. Oblivious to playing partners struggling for air -- and the ash droppings on his belly. Favorite expression: "Straight from Havana, baby!"

9. The Sandbagger

Defining characteristics: The 15 handicap who is somehow playing "much better" than he has in years. Feigns apology when he drops bunker shot within inches of cup, then kicks sand off his shoes like a tour pro. Favorite expression: "I guess it's just one of those days..."

10. Oblivious Guy

Defining characteristics: So preoccupied with his own game never looks for anyone else's ball. When driving a cart, always blows past your ball and heads directly to his. Favorite expression: "But enough about me. What do YOU think of my swing?"

11. Ball Retriever Guy

Defining characteristics: Never passes a water hazard without his trusty scoop at the ready. Last bought a new sleeve of balls in the late 80s. Favorite expression: "Whoa! A ProV1!"

12. The Volcano

Defining characteristics: Has unique ability to allow even the most pleasant days to be soured by any bad swing, bounce, or lie. Relies on Ball Retriever Guy to occasionally fetch clubs out of lake. Favorite expression: "[Not printable]"

13. Delusional Guy

Defining characteristics: Forces group to wait on every par 5 because he's convinced he can get home in two. Usually get there in four. Favorite expression: "If I really catch it, I can get there."

14. Mulligan Guy

Defining characteristics: Liberally allows himself another whack even when first shot is findable. 

Favorite expression: "Wait, wait, wait. I gotta try another."

15. The Plumb Bobber

Defining characteristics: The only guy in the group not to notice the foursome behind yelling from the fairway as he lines up his putt for double from every angle imaginable. Favorite expression: "Son of a gun, I actually think it goes both ways!"

16. Yardage Book Guy

Defining characteristics: Has to walk off every blade of grass before hitting. After contemplating whether a shot is 176 yards or 178, ends up hitting it 150. Favorite expression: "I can't decide if it's a hard 7 or a soft 6."

17. The Cheat

Defining characteristics: A sympathetic figure when he pushes his tee shot deep into the woods. Not as sympathetic: When he announces his ball somehow stayed in bounds -- with a clear shot to the green! Favorite expression: "Better to be lucky than good!

18. The Overcelebrater

Defining characteristics: Treats every holed three footer as if just won the Masters. Has sent multiple playing partners home early thanks to overzealous chest bumping. Favorite expression: "Yes SIR!"


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Tuscany Deal

Tuscany has a deal.  You buy a "membership" for $30/month, but get two months free if you pay for it all at once.  You can hit unlimited range balls, get group lessons monthly, and your course fee is only $15 for the cart at the super twilight hours throughout the year.  The nice thing is you also get two free drinks (beer or soda) with every round.  The course is in wonderful shape most of the year.  I think it is a good enough deal I just signed up for my second year.  Check it out and let me know what you think.

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Members Wall

I just realized our members wall looks like the final 7 from a Survivor episode. I kinda like it. Who will be voted out tonight? We are all jealous of Brent's Riviera trip - but I think he has an Idol.

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Best Golf Values

I would like to hear other members comment on the better values on courses they have played recently. I have played many in the last month and can highly recommend LAS VEGAS NATIONAL $45 and in great shape. PALM VALLEY with perfect poana grass greens also around $50 and HIGHLAND FALLS. SPANISH TRAILS by far one of the best courses in town can be played for about $70 right now due to financial issues but the course is perfect! I played TPC LV last week as they were running a special for $59 and well worth it! Be careful right now as many courses are punching there greens. Please share any others you can recommend. I'm always looking for great places to play without getting burned by huge green fees. Thanks.

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They say necessity is the mother of invention. I love meeting new people on the golf course. But, getting paired together by the starter is a gamble. You don’t always hit it off. I wanted a way to meet golfers in my area. Get to know each other a little, then schedule a round. Hopefully this site will help me to do that and you too.

Rick Jansen

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